As seen on tv.

(Last week I saw a commercial for a Kitchen Utensil. It made me laugh so of course I had to write a story. I’m not advertising for this product but it does make you stop and think.)

     Staring at the screen, eyes wide, Destiny couldn’t believe what she was seeing. If Adele were home, Destiny would have flipped the channel in a heartbeat. The commercial playing was for the ultimate kitchen utensil called the Spurtle, the everything tool. Well, Destiny rolled her eyes as she thought, “Oh yeah, the everything tool, alright. They look like skinny paddles to me. So many uses, Hmm, I’m sure.” Irritated at the TV, she changed the channel.

    No sooner had she done that when she heard the front door open and her wife calling out her name. Destiny smiled at her timing and got up from the couch to greet her. Destiny watched patiently as her wife took off her scarf along with her coat and hung them in the hall closet. Closing the closet door, Adele gave Destiny her full attention, and into her arms, she went.

     Adele was happy having Destiny here to greet her after a long day. “So, tell me, how was your day off? Did you finish your chores or spend all day on the couch watching TV?” Remembering the Spurtle commercial, Destiny couldn’t stop the blush from spreading over her face. “Hmm, Destiny?”

      “No, no, I did them. I promise I was, well, just thinking about something silly on TV.” Now Destiny hoped Adele didn’t push for details. “I even have a pork roast in the oven, and the timer should be going off very soon.” She verified by checking her watch. “Should I open a bottle of wine while you wash up?”

       “Sounds good; how about a Chardonnay? I put a bottle in the cooler yesterday.” turning to leave, Adele added, “Maybe over dinner, you can tell me what you were watching that has you blushing.”

       Destiny pretended not to hear, but in her head, she answered. “Not a chance.” luckily, Adele didn’t ask again. She became complacent over the next few days, so she got a surprise the following Saturday night. After returning from a quick potty break, she found Adele focused on the screen; Destiny was startled when she realized it was that same dreadful commercial from the other day, the one that had her blushing.

       Panicking, Destiny stood directly in front of Adele as she tried blocking the screen. Then she attempted to change the subject by asking silly questions. “How about some popcorn or a drink? Let’s go to the kitchen and see what’s there.” unfortunately, her attempt at diversion only highlighted the subject.

        Adele’s expression changed to stern as she directed, “Little girl come here now! Do you seriously think I don’t know what you’re trying to do?” Shoulders slumped low; Destiny dragged her feet the few steps to her wife. “Is this the silly thing you saw on TV the other day? The one that had you blushing?” getting a nod as confirmation Adele continued, “I think we should order them, you know, give them a try.”

      Destiny’s head flew up in shock, then immediately words stumbled out. “Adele, NO, You can’t do that; I don’t want them!” Destiny threw a brat-inspired temper tantrum, hands clench, feet stumping, and voice raising to a fever pitch, not realizing Adele was only joking. “No, No, No! You’re not fair!”

      Adele let her vent for a moment before abruptly putting an end to the tantrum. “Enough!” when she had her wife’s undivided attention, she continued. “Little girl, I was only teasing but now that you demonstrated such poor behavior, I think I’ve changed my mind. I’ll be ordering them tomorrow, and that little tantrum you threw tonight has earned a spanking.” Gaze to the ground, Destiny sniffled as Adele grabbed hold of her belt loop and pulled her closer.

      Destiny stood between Adele’s legs. When she unzipped and unfastened Destiny’s pants and panties lowered, she didn’t argue. Still, she didn’t resist when Adele guided her to lay over her lap. Then when Adele’s hand rested on her quivering butt cheeks, she answered in a meek voice when asked why she was about to get spanked. “Because I threw a fit,” sniffle, “I just didn’t want you to see” sniffle, “the commercial.” sniffle. She struggled to look back before adding. “I’m sorry.”

      “Well, Thank you for the apology. Let’s take care of this and get back to our show, ok?” Getting a mumbled reply Adele commenced with her mission and teaching her wife the penalties of throwing a fit. No warmup, just a firestorm of swats landing one right after the other, until Destiny was a whimpering mess. “Ok, that should do for tonight. We will repeat this lesson once we get our new kitchen set. That will give us a chance to break them in.”

      Destiny just lay there trying to catch her breath when Adele’s words sunk in. Left with no options, she groaned in misery. There was nothing she could do to change Adele’s mind, so she relaxed into her touch. Adele messaged Destiny’s back and sore cheeks while softly cooing words of love and comfort. Destiny reached for a couch pillow to rest her head but stayed over Adele’s lap, content to watch the movie just where she was.

       The following week, sitting on the step by the front door was a package. For a second, Destiny was excited but then, remembering what it was, she shivered. Picking up the box, she brought it into the house; tempted as she was, she didn’t toss it in the recycle bin. Destiny placed it on the counter for Adele; Destiny was in no hurry for it to be open. Upon seeing the package, she lost her appetite, so she didn’t start dinner. Her mood now low, Destiny escaped to her room and laid on the bed playing with her phone.

      That’s where Adele found her after a short search. “Hey, babe, Are you ok? What are you doing here?” Adele figured she would find Destiny in here pouting after seeing the package on the counter.

       “I’m ok. I’m just not hungry tonight.” Destiny focused solely on her phone in an attempt to dismiss her wife.

       “Well, I’m sure you’ll be hungry once we finish cooking. Come on.” When Destiny didn’t budge, Adele’s voice grew harder. “Up, Now!” That tone was all it took, and Destiny was up. “I’ll start cooking, and you can open the package on the counter.” Destiny groaned; that was the last thing she wanted to do.

     Adele handed the package over to Destiny in the kitchen, pointed to the kitchen table, and instructed. “Go ahead and sit down at the table, I’m sure you’re anxious to see what’s inside.” Adele smiled as she got busy making dinner. Out of the corner of her eye, she was watching Destiny just looking at the box; she’d give her a few minutes. But when several minutes passed with no movement, Adele pushed. “No more stalling, open the box.”

       In a low whiney voice, Destiny said. “Please Adele, can we just send them back.” lip lowered into a pout. “I don’t want to open the box.” Silence and a glare met Destiny when she dared lookup. Then snippily, she added, “fine! Whatever!”

        Before Destiny had a chance to pick up the knife she was planning to use, Adele was at her side. Grabbing one arm, she lifted Destiny out of the chair, giving her bottom a stinging swat, she directed. “Corner Now!” Adele’s stern expression told Destiny she had indeed pushed too far; she rushed to the corner while trying to keep her bottom out of reach. Shaking her head, Adele reached for the knife and proceeded to open the box.

       It read easy to use on the box, the everything tool, made of premium acacia wood, lightweight and sturdy. There were four pieces all together, two perfect for her needs thirteen inches long, one slotted, and one solid. Adele held each Spurtle, testing the grip and swing, and thought with a smile; these would leave an excellent impression. Before going back to her cooking, she lined up the utensils evenly on the table and put the box in the recycling bin.

       Turning the burner to simmer, she set the timer on the stove for fifteen minutes before grabbing a chair and calling her wife over. “Destiny, come here, please.” she watched as her naughty girl turned slowly and made her way forward. It didn’t take long for Destiny to notice the utensils on the table, and once she did, her eyes stayed glued. The second mention of her name got Destiny’s attention. “Destiny, please explain why we are here and what’s about to happen.”

        Clearing her throat, Destiny began her sorrowful tale. “I threw a fit, so you bought those.” pointing, “then I didn’t want to open the box, and now I’m getting a spanking.” that sentence came out in a rush.

         Adele’s original plan was to give a playful spanking, but now she had to put a bit more force into it after the little display earlier. First, Destiny’s yoga pants fell, followed quickly by panties. Bottom bare, Adele guided the little girl over her lap, then immediately began a warmup by alternating swats from one cheek to the other. After a lovely pink hue covered the entire surface, she reached over, grabbing the solid Spurtle.

      She liked the feel in her hand. The grip was more comfortable than a wooden spoon, and the feeling was solid like a paddle. Remembering the timer, she got to work. As soon as the first swat landed, Destiny howled her displeasure. Unfortunately, that did not deter her wife, who landed swat after painful swat. In their wake, red splotches surfaced. One swat, one splotch, one swat, one splotch, and on and on until the timer went off.

        Putting the Spurtle back on the table, Adele helped Destiny rise; she went to turn off the timer while Destiny hopped up and down, hissing and crying in an attempt to rub out the sting. After moving the pot off the burner, Adele returned to her wife with open arms. Scooping her girl up, Adele sat back down on the chair, holding the punished little girl tightly. She rocked and hugged, showering her with light kisses until calm. Once still, Adele tapped Destiny’s side. “Ok, babe, dinners ready; how about you set the table, and I’ll grab dinner and bring it to the table.”

       Before moving, Destiny looked up at her wife, and with the most sincere expression and asked, “Ok, Adele, but can we maybe talk about getting cable tv, you know, TV without commercials.”     

4 replies on “As seen on tv.”

I love Destiny as a character. I particularly love the tener scene at the end of the No politics at work story. But I like the touch of humour in this one too. Not sure Destiny appreciates it though.

Liked by 1 person

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